Mind Readings: The Language of Our Goals

I was talking to a friend recently on Discord in this one server that I'm in, and she said something that really stuck to me. We were talking about goals and careers and things, and she said, you know, if I ever have money, I will do this thing. And the language around that statement really started to bother me. Because if you have a goal, and that goal is something that's more than just a wish, describing it that way mentally undermines it. Right?

It mentally almost defeats you before you have a chance to do it. And so it got me thinking about the language that we use to describe the goals that we're setting out for ourselves. We all know, you know, the smart framework, right? Specific simple, measurable, so on and so forth. Um the language, even in passing that we use about our goals that we set out for ourselves, personal or professional, has to be more effective, has to have a certain sense of finality to it.

So, what would my friend have said differently if she had um a better sense of confidence about her goals? Instead of saying if I have money, I say when I have money. Be even more specific. When I have a quarter million dollars to blow on this thing. Or when I have a quarter million dollars to blow on this thing in ten years.

Suddenly, instead of it being a wish that may or may not ever take shape, there's a deadline. There is a sense of timing, there's a clear outcome, and there's a way to measure it. And I think that language is very powerful for reprogramming ourselves to believe that our goals have a certain sense of inevitability around them. When I sell my company for $100 million, when I move to Ireland in five years, when I can shoot two arrows one and a half seconds apart, when I become a marathon runner. Or even better yet, it sort of has happened.

You've thought about it, you've put it into words, and now you have to do it. You have to make the rest of it come true. And so the actions you take will not support those thoughts and those words. You've got to have all three lined up. Thought, word, and action have to be grouped together.

They have to be aligned, rowing in the same direction. And when they are, even though you run into challenges with them, it is easier to overcome those challenges because you've trained your brain to think about the inevitability of it. And such, so instead of going, oh, how am I going to earn money? You think, what are the ways that I will get towards this goal? How much money do I need to earn to get to this goal?

How much weight do I need to lose to get to this goal? How much uh exercise do I need to do to get to this goal? And in doing so, you set up a domino effect of getting your brain to think about solutions to achieving your goal rather than the monumental problem of if this ever happens, right? If this ever happens, if I have money, kind of almost has a ring of externality to it that it's not under your control, and that you just have to wait and hope that something happens. And that's not a great way to go through life, just hoping that good things happen.

Instead, when you create that inevitability with the language you use about your goals, you treat you teach your brain this is something that needs to happen. How are we going to do it? Get creative. Start thinking about this, start dreaming about this, uh, start problem solving this. Now, there is something to be said for uh goals that are achievable, right?

World peace is a lovely goal. Um, it is highly unlikely to happen uh through your efforts alone and within your natural lifetime. But yelling at your kids less or uh donating a hundred dollars a month more to your favorite charity, those are things that are achievable and within reach. And if you start speaking about them as though they have already happened, then you're tricking your brain into saying, okay, we need to make this continue to happen and advance ourselves towards towards the goal we have. We are creatures of habit.

It is easier for us to keep doing something or keep not doing something than it is for us to start something new or stop something. And when we speak about our goals as though they are already in progress, we are mentally tricking ourselves to say, yep, this thing, it's already happened, and we're just catching up, right? It's already, we're we're already uh losing five pounds a week, and your brain's like, well, I guess we better do those things to keep going, this habit going. Give that some thought, right? Change the language that you use around your goals so that you speak in a way that reinforces in your own head what you need to do to make those things become a reality.

Thanks for watching.