This week, I was talking to a friend about some of her career and life goals, and the way she used language to describe her goals told me she has little chance of achieving them. Learn what I heard and the way I’d reframe those goals.
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What follows is an AI-generated transcript. The transcript may contain errors and is not a substitute for watching the video.
I was talking to a friend recently on Discord, and just one server that I’m in.
And she said something that really stuck out to me.
We’re talking about goals and careers, things that she said, you know, if I ever have money, I will do this thing.
And the language around that statement really started to bother me.
Because if you have a goal, and that goal is something that’s more than just a wish, describing it that way, mentally undermines it.
Right? It mentally, always, almost defeats you, before you have a chance to do it.
And so, I got me thinking about the language that we use to describe the goals that we are setting out for ourselves.
We all know, you know, the SMART framework, specific, simple, measurable, so on and so forth.
But the language, even in passing that we use, about our goals that we set out for ourselves personal or professional, has to, to be more effective, has to have a certain sense of finality to it.
So what would my friend have said differently if she had a better sense of confidence about her goals, instead of saying, If I have money, say when I have money would be even more specific, when I have a quarter million dollars to blow on this thing.
Or want to have a quarter million dollars to blow this thing in 10 years.
Suddenly, instead of it being a wish that may or may not ever take shape, there’s a deadline, right, there is a sense of timing, there’s a clear outcome.
And there’s a way to measure it.
And I think that language is very powerful for reprogramming ourselves just to believe that our goals have a certain sense of inevitability around them, when I sell my company for $100 million, when I moved to Ireland, five years when I could shoot two arrows, one and a half seconds apart.
When I become a marathon runner.
When you use that language, you’re telling your own brain this is going to happen.
Or even better, yet it sort of has happened.
You’ve thought about it, you put it into words.
And now you have to do it, you have to make the rest of it come true.
But if the language you’re using is hesitant, or completely lacks confidence, then the thought you have essentially is working against you.
The words you use are working against you if I have money.
And so the actions you take will not support those thoughts.
In this words, you’ve got to have all three lined up thought word and action have to be grouped together.
They have to be aligned, rowing in the same direction.
And when they are, even though you run into challenges with them, it is easier to overcome those challenges.
Because you’ve trained your brain to think about the inevitability of it and such.
So instead of going on how am I going to earn money? You think? What are the ways that will get towards this goal? How much money do I need to earn to get to this goal? How much weight do I need to lose to get to this goal? How much exercise do I need to do to get to this goal.
And in doing so yourself a domino effect of getting your brain to think about solutions to achieving your goal rather than the monumental problem of if this ever happens, right? If this ever happens if I have money kind of always has a ring of externality to it.
That is not under your control and that you just have to wait and hope that something happens.
And that’s not a great way to go through life just hoping that good things happen.
Instead, when you create that inevitability with the language you use about your goals You tricked you teach your brain this so something that needs to happen? How are we going to do it get creative, start thinking about the start dreaming about this start problem solving this.
Christopher Penn 5:16
There is something to be said four goals that are achievable, right world peace is a lovely goal, it was highly unlikely to happen through your efforts alone and within your natural lifetime.
But yelling at your kids less or donating $100 a month more to your favorite charity.
Those are things that are achievable and within reach.
And if you start speaking about them as though they have already happened, then you’re tricking your brain into saying, Okay, we need to make this continue to happen.
And advance ourselves towards towards the goal we have.
We are creatures of habit.
It is easier for us to keep doing something or keep not doing something than it is for us to start something new or stop something.
And when we speak about our goals as though they are already in progress.
We are mentally tricking ourselves to say yep, this thing.
It’s already happened.
And we’re just catching up.
Right? It’s already we’re already losing five pounds a week and your brains like well, I guess we better do those things to keep going this habit going.
give that some thought.
Right? Change the language that you use around your goals so that you speak in a way that reinforces in your own head, what you need to do to make those things become a reality.
Thanks for watching.
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