May 15, 2013 3 Comments

Losing for the win

Send to Kindle

At the dojo

Last night at the Boston Martial Arts Center I had an interesting experience while coaching one of the green belt students on some avoidance techniques. The drill was simple: I swung at the student with a foam-padded bopper and after avoiding a relatively slow swing, they had to hit a padded target. It’s a drill of avoidance and footwork on one hand, and accuracy on the other. The drill encourages not only good technique, but presence of mind – you can’t just wildly avoid or you’ll be out of position for the target hitting.

What was interesting to me wasn’t the drill itself but two insights I had. The first insight was that I had to strongly resist my own urge to “win”, to hit the student with the foam stick. That wasn’t the point of the drill, and initially, my own ego and desire to “win” by the conventional definition (hit them with the bopper) was quite strong. It took me a good minute or two before we started to put myself in the right frame of mind, that I was there to help the student first and foremost, and to appropriately move at a speed that insured more success than failure, while not eliminating the chance for failure.

The second insight, which was part of that reframing, was that “winning” in this case wasn’t hitting the student with the bopper. Winning was actually “losing” the majority of the time for my role as the attacker. If I was not able to hit them the majority of the time, if I was able to have them succeed first and foremost, that was the true win, the win in the bigger picture. They’d walk away with more skill, more insight of their own, and more happiness rather than walk away demoralized or ashamed of their performance. In this case a narrow-minded personal “win” would have been a failure on my part as a coach and a failure on the part of the student.

When I look over my career, this is a pattern writ large. Those times that have been the most fruitful and the most successful were when I put a bigger picture win ahead of a narrow-minded personal win. When you help create success in others, they root for your success and actively look for ways to help you achieve it. Those times that have been the most stressful and unpleasant were because I created selfish success at the expense of others. In a world where you are the platform, creating situations where people don’t want to see you succeed is tantamount to career suicide, while creating situations where people are actively and eagerly supporting you is a rocketship to the top.

The challenge I continue to face is whether my ego is willing to lose small for the big win.

If you enjoyed this, please share it with your network!

Want to read more like this from ? Subscribe now:

Marketing White Belt

Basics for Digital Marketers
is now on Amazon & B&N

I recommend & use:
SEOMoz SEO Software
SEOMoz SEO software. 		I recommend:

for small business incorporation.
Filed Under: Awakening, Buddhism, Business, Ninjutsu, On ko chi shin
March 6, 2013 7 Comments

9 amusing travel hacks

Send to Kindle

IMG_2901

As someone who travels more often than I’d like, I do occasionally pick up useful little tips and tricks for making life on the road more tolerable. Here are a random assortment.

1. Hotel coffee. Treat it like a teabag. Read this post for the full details!

2. Forgot toothpaste? Or, if you’re cheap like me and refuse to pay (at some hotels) $9 for a wafer-thin packet of toothpaste, take a hefty pinch of salt or 2 paper salt packets from a fast food restaurant and dissolve them in 1/8th cup of warm water. Brush with this heavy saltwater solution in your mouth and it will clean your teeth and reduce bad breath surprisingly well. It’s not a substitute for proper dental care at home, but on the road it works in a pinch.

3. Shower with the bathroom door open if privacy permits. Most hotels use a forced air system of some kind for heating and cooling, which tends to dry out the room air quickly. In the humid summer, this is wonderful, but at other times of the year, this can lead to nosebleeds. If privacy and decency permit, shower with the bathroom door open so that the moist vapor gets into the room. If you can’t do that, then soak a large bath towel with water and drape it over one of the metal luggage racks for the evening, ideally placed near where the air blows into the room. If you’re really desperate for some humidity, run the in-room coffee maker with the lid off and with just plain water a few times.

4. Sign up for every frequent traveler program available. Even if you don’t have a ton of points, just having a membership number can get you an occasional upgrade if the hotel is far below capacity.

5. Always, always, ALWAYS travel with good manners and etiquette. Treating the hotel staff with kindness is not only the right thing to do, but occasionally you benefit from it, too.

6. If you’re concerned about safety, aim to book for the second floor. The first floor/ground level is too easy to break into. Above the third floor and you might not survive if you jump. From the second floor, you’re probably going to sprain or break something when you land, but you’ll likely survive and you’ll get out quickly in case of a fire with exits blocked. And for goodness sake, know where the fire exits are on your floor.

7. Got lousy water at your hotel? Get some ice from the ice machine. In addition to cooling down the water (thus reducing its apparent taste, because cold numbs the tongue), many ice machines have a water filter built into them, so if you load up a glass packed full of ice with some warm tap water, you should get a nice, balanced glass of water that’s cool to drink and cleaner than straight tap.

8. Suck at ironing? If you’ve got at least 4 hours between arrival and when you’re supposed to be presentable, load up the in-room iron with water. Unless it’s a super cheap model, it has a spray function that works like a mister, even if the iron isn’t plugged in. Mist down your suit or formal clothes with a fine mist all over to relax the fabric, then hang to dry. Works even better if you can hang clothes near where the air vent is blowing.

9. Have to practice your talk? Bring an HDMI cable. Many rooms have nice flat screen TVs that you can hook your laptop into and practice your presentations as though you were on-stage.

What are your favorite travel hacks? Leave them in the comments!

If you enjoyed this, please share it with your network!

Want to read more like this from ? Subscribe now:

Marketing White Belt

Basics for Digital Marketers
is now on Amazon & B&N

I recommend & use:
SEOMoz SEO Software
SEOMoz SEO software. 		I recommend:

for small business incorporation.
Filed Under: Ninjutsu, Travel
January 11, 2013 8 Comments

There are no advanced conferences (and never will be)

Send to Kindle

EASFAA 2008 Conference photos

I’ll play devil’s advocate on CC Chapman’s excellent post recently asking where the advanced conferences are.

There aren’t any. And I mean that in all seriousness. The more advanced you become in any field, the less general information is going to help you, because you’ve learned it. The more advanced you become in any field, the more the challenges you face are yours alone or shared among a very small minority of practitioners.

That’s when you need fewer conferences and more teachers or mentors who can challenge you and your specific needs and weaknesses.

I liken it to the martial arts. Teaching white belts is easy. You teach the basics en masse, and everyone more or less starts at the same place. As people progress, many drop out, and those who remain have individual weaknesses manifest themselves. Some people become afraid of hitting the ground. Some people don’t do well with throws or joint locks or kicks. By the time you’re teaching black belts, you’ve got a roomful of people who are all very good at the basics, but have individual areas of focus they need to improve. Only a master teacher (like mine, for example, Sensei Mark Davis) is going to be able to help the students over their individual obstacles, and the reality is that both in the social media and martial arts worlds, there are very few legitimate master teachers.

Skipping from conference to conference can give you added perspective, as CC mentioned, but the risk there is the equivalent of earning 12 green belts but never getting a black belt in any one thing. When you train in the martial arts, you have to give your area of study a lot of focus and effort to get to black belt and beyond.

There’s an expression in Japanese, shu-ha-ri, which roughly translated means preserve the form, vary the form, transcend the form, and it describes our journey as students, both in social media and martial arts. Conferences give us the basics, the form, but then we have to take that knowledge on the road, test it out for ourselves, learn from our mistakes, and find qualified teachers and mentors to help guide us through our weaknesses. We take our knowledge and apply it to real world situations until we understand it thoroughly. In the end, we transcend conferences entirely and learn to explore and grow on our own, and then it’s us on the stages sharing what we learned with the beginners just putting on their marketing white belts for the first time.

If you enjoyed this, please share it with your network!

Want to read more like this from ? Subscribe now:

Marketing White Belt

Basics for Digital Marketers
is now on Amazon & B&N

I recommend & use:
SEOMoz SEO Software
SEOMoz SEO software. 		I recommend:

for small business incorporation.
Filed Under: Awakening, Conferences, Ninjutsu
«Older Posts