Thanks for sharing this.

You need to have the experience, to challenge your preconceived notions of what's safe and sane and reasonable, and to stop asking for so much permission and just Do. I was scared out of my mind about traveling to the first Podcamp alone- what if I knew nothing? Would I feel like I was way over my head? Would I get anything useful out of it?

And what happened? I arrived early. As people started setting up, I asked if I could help. They gave me a job. I pitched in. Not asking for favors, asking to participate. And now I have a whole different life, really- largely because I asked to pitch in and lend a hand where needed.

It's a simple act you can replicate anywhere in your life. In retrospect, what this probably did was show my potential new friends that I was willing to lend a hand. It made me stand out a bit from the crowd. And that helps create that “Trust Agent” mentality- people who are willing to go out of their way for you are people you are likely to feel the same way about, and that is how friendships and human relationships work.

It doesn't take much to have an authentic conversation with someone, but you get so much farther with trying to help someone, even in mundane ways, like holding a door, than you ever get by starting a relationship by trying to impose on someone else, immediately demanding a favor. You have to earn that privilege over time.

The quote you use from Ze Frank frequently about emotional after-taste is important here as well. You need to have the experience in order to really judge its worth, and what stays with you long after the experience itself is over. Do you remember the rush of speed from your first roller coaster ride? Do you cherish those first moments of holding your newborn child? These experiences can be written about, even shown on video, but those are ghosts of the actual in the moment experience itself.

We can aggregate information, video on the web, podcasts, everything, but all of these are mere simulation of an experience, and I'm glad you gave us all a reminder of this.

Thanks for sharing this.

You need to have the experience, to challenge your preconceived notions of what's safe and sane and reasonable, and to stop asking for so much permission and just Do. I was scared out of my mind about traveling to the first Podcamp alone- what if I knew nothing? Would I feel like I was way over my head? Would I get anything useful out of it?

And what happened? I arrived early. As people started setting up, I asked if I could help. They gave me a job. I pitched in. Not asking for favors, asking to participate. And now I have a whole different life, really- largely because I asked to pitch in and lend a hand where needed.

It's a simple act you can replicate anywhere in your life. In retrospect, what this probably did was show my potential new friends that I was willing to lend a hand. It made me stand out a bit from the crowd. And that helps create that “Trust Agent” mentality- people who are willing to go out of their way for you are people you are likely to feel the same way about, and that is how friendships and human relationships work.

It doesn't take much to have an authentic conversation with someone, but you get so much farther with trying to help someone, even in mundane ways, like holding a door, than you ever get by starting a relationship by trying to impose on someone else, immediately demanding a favor. You have to earn that privilege over time.

The quote you use from Ze Frank frequently about emotional after-taste is important here as well. You need to have the experience in order to really judge its worth, and what stays with you long after the experience itself is over. Do you remember the rush of speed from your first roller coaster ride? Do you cherish those first moments of holding your newborn child? These experiences can be written about, even shown on video, but those are ghosts of the actual in the moment experience itself.

We can aggregate information, video on the web, podcasts, everything, but all of these are mere simulation of an experience, and I'm glad you gave us all a reminder of this.